I had an interesting reaction in the store this past weekend. I walked past the baby section in Wal-Mart and stopped. Usually I walk by it saying to myself that I need to wait. But this time, knowing that it is now a Boy and I can pick out clothes without worry about neutral anything, I turned down the aisle.
As I stood looking at all the tiny onesies and socks on the wall I started to get nervous and excited at the same time. I had a flash back of being in a toy store with my dad as a 6-year-old and having a slight panic attack. He said go pick any toy you want, just one but anything you want. My mind went crazy, I thought I knew what I wanted but now with this option of ANY TOY added I couldn’t decide. We left the store with me in tears simply because I got overwhelmed. I believe my dad went back later to get the toy I stared at the longest.
So now I am standing in front of an endless combination of socks, pants, onesies and bibs. All in mostly blue with some grays and browns, the choices were getting to me. I wanted to pick the right size, the right color and right combination. I wanted to make sure it would get used and could mix and match. I was starting to make this harder than it needed to be. I wanted to make the right decision. Can you tell I got straight A’s’ in school. Bit of an over thinker.
Finally I pick up 4 things. And I felt satisfied and happy especially as that nervous anxious feeling went away and was replaced by a content warm one. The only thing in my cart at the time was Baby Boy’s clothes and that felt so good.
When Daddy O and I got back to the car I pulled out a pair of socks and showed them to him. He smiled and then looked at me and said “Are you about to cry?” Most of the time I can stop myself from crying but this time I couldn’t. I started to cry and laugh explaining that I can’t believe how small his feet will be and how tiny his butt will be and that he is here. I love him already. Daddy O smiled touched my hand and said “You are a mess and definitely pregnant” giving me an – I love you wink.