Most of our life is spent being talked to or talking about time. From the moment we are born, people are asking about our nap schedules and play-dates. There is discussion about feedings and what time baby should go to bed. Then as we get older the talk about time turns into not enough. The “hurry we are going to be late” statement is thrown out often, either about getting to school on time or soccer practice. Then it’s the counting and documenting of time with birthdays and holidays passing by. Until finally you have a child of your own and the cycle repeats with the added bonus of knowing what your mother or father had going on in their busy day.
For me it is no different. Right now we are in the phase of time keeping called Time Management, and most days I feel like I am failing. Not failing in huge big obvious ways but in smaller, “I should be able to get this done” ways. Like dishes, I should be able to get the dishes done or at the least be able to see the bottom of my sink once in the day. Small things that I feel like other mothers manage to get done. The other portion of time management that is new is sleep. My youngest (for now) Little K, who is 1, has finally started to sleep longer than an hour and a half at a time. Serious miracles and crying happened but we figured out what needed to be done (and it wasn’t Cry It Out) and within 3 days we broke the nursing to sleep cycle. Last night I got seven hours of sleep IN A ROW and man do I feel like a drunk person, in a good way.
So, with more sleep and the dishes still not getting done we are adding another item to our time sheet – Speech Therapy – for Big D. He’s two and things seem a bit delayed. Now 2 – 3 times a week we need to work out how to get out of the house, drive an hour there, learn and play for an hour and then drive an hour back all while still not getting the dishes done. Don’t forget about Tot School and starting a Printables Design company as well as sell our home and move onto a farm. The dishes will not be getting done anytime soon, because I left out one very important thing about time. ME.
I don’t need a vacation, a girls night out, or a whole day to do whatever I want without kids hanging on me. Those are nice and heck yeah I will take what I can get, but it doesn’t fill me up or make me feel sane. In fact when I am given that much time, more than half is spent worrying about the kids and the other half thinking I should be doing something more productive, like the dishes. I have found that all I need to feel like I have my own skin, and a quiet spot in my head is 2 whole hours in a row everyday. And No, the dishes still won’t get done. I use that time to create. Either work on planner designs, client projects or a chance to sew. Taking the time for me hasn’t been easy. I am lucky to have my husband home with us, but he is busy finishing our home that is on the market to sell and fixing up another so that we can move into it. All of that means, on occasion, that my – Me Time – takes a backseat if the electrician can only come out during it. Which is where I am at right now, typing this up at 5 am because Little K managed to sleep 8 hours straight giving me 7 hours. With that much sleep being so new to my body I couldn’t fall back, so I am gaining back the two hours I thought I was losing today. Feels like a win. And again, the dishes still won’t get done.
Moral of the story, don’t forget about you. We can bust our butts all day, have a spotless house, clean kids and folded laundry but none of that matters if behind a closed-door you are having a mental breakdown or crying in the shower. I won’t judge you if your laundry has been sitting in a pile for 3 days, instead I will applaud because the laundry made it out of the dryer. And I definitely won’t think less of you because of the pile of dishes in your sink, I guarantee my pile is higher. What I will do is give you an invisible high-five for looking rested and happy, then sit on your couch while we binge watch the new Full House on Netflix on our “Girls Night Out”. Our kids are alive and happy, our spouses think we are doing a great job (they do, ask them) and really the dishes can wait.